My Thoughts On Becoming A More Caring Person
This article is brought to you by Bennett Heyn -
Hi. My name is Bennett Heyn and I am on a journey to become a more caring and genuine guy.
Am I really a caring guy? I hope so... I care a lot about my specific interests like entrepreneurship, technology, volunteering, and lifting but I am working to get better at being genuinely interested in others.
I'm here today to share some information on what I think it takes to be a caring guy.
Before we get started, I just wanted to show a pic of me and a cute dog wearing a tutu!
These are some tips on how to become a more caring person.
1. Be Genuinely Interested In Others
Imagine how passionate you are about your favorite activity or something you could talk about for hours. Other people have this same level of excitement about something and so I try to make it my mission to get them to talk about their interests. Everyone has something that makes them unique and so a caring person will want to discover what makes someone else happy. Becoming genuinely interested in others helps to form a strong connection between two people which is very important. When you are genuinely interested in others they feel appreciated. One of our deepest desires is the urge to feel appreciated.
You might be looking to become genuinely interested in other people because you want to form a relationship or you want to nurture your existing friendship. While having things in common may help you to be more interested in their hobbies, it is not a necessity. For example, I have some friends who used to be in the boy scouts. I enjoy nature to a certain extent, but I am genuinely interested in them and how passionate they are about climbing, hiking, and camping. I find it exciting to learn more about their adventures of when they went on a camping retreat and got lost in the woods. When you become genuinely interested in others, you also become more caring.
2. Be an active listener and seek to understand the other person
According to skillsyouneed, the definition of active listening is fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker. I'll admit it, sometimes I am not fully listening to what you are saying but I encourage you to keep talking. This is something I am being more thoughtful of because I realize the importance of active listening. Being an active listener helps the other person to feel heard and feel understood.
The second half of this tip is listening to understand. Sometimes, I am asking someone a question and then I hijack the conversation by talking about my experiences. Ideally, I should ask someone a question and then listen intently to understand what they are saying. Listen to learn and understand. Plus, while you are listening, try not to think of what you are going to say next but rather fully listen.
When you actively listen to others, they enjoy when you are around.
3. Ask yourself, why should I care about others?
Often times, having a reason to do something is more effective than not knowing why you should be doing something. For example, let's say you want to be a politician when you are older. Then, you would have a strong reason to get better at public speaking, critical thinking, and other skills.
I am working to care more about others because I want to understand other people and be understood. I want to care about other people in order to make them feel important. In making others feel important, I think I will feel better about myself.
So, find out why you should care about others. Here are a few good reasons for wanting to become a more caring person.
- Wanting to develop an intimate relationship
- Wanting to strengthen existing friendships
- Wanting to make others feel special/important
- Wanting to advance in your career
- Wanting to become a great leader
4. Realize that it feels good to care about something greater than yourself.
One of my favorite movies is called Her. The movie touched upon romance and the film revealed how humans have an innate urge to feel understood. Here is a quote from the movie I often think about which relates to relationships, "What was it like being married."
"Its hard for sure but there is something that feels so good about sharing your life with somebody."
That quote shows me how humans use relationships as a way to connect deeply with others. When you're in a relationship, you exist, you belong, and you are part of something greater than yourself. This movie showed the importance of human connection and how we find our importance by caring for others. As the main character said, it feels good to share your life with someone else but it is also hard at times. Humans have a deep desire to be appreciated and having a relationship is a great way to feel appreciated.
When you care for others, you become something greater than yourself. Another favorite quote from is from John Glenn is as follows, “If there is one thing I’ve learned in my years on this planet, it’s that the happiest and most fulfilled people I’ve known are those who devoted themselves to something bigger and more profound than merely their own self-interest.”
When you start to care about others more, you may become happier with your life.
Can Caring about someone too much turn bad?
My opinion is yes, it can be bad to care about something too intensely. Here is why.
1. Heartbreak can hurt
While I have not experienced deep heartbreak, I know that getting your feelings hurt can feel terrible. When you care about something or someone too much, it makes you feel bad when they don't care about you. Losing someone you care about is devastating and it's not always easy to quickly get over that loss.
Let's imagine a boy and girl fall in love with each other and they deeply care for each other. They experience the enhanced chemical sensations some people call love. The girl cares deeply for this guy but eventually, things go astray and the relationship is torn apart. I imagine the girl will be more heartbroken which is mainly due to the fact that she cared more.
2. Sometimes it is ideal to not care as much on dates!
Imagine again that a guy is about to meet up with a girl he doesn't know. They met online and have talked a decent amount. The guy is nervous and thinks he likes the girl but doesn't know for sure. It would be ideal in this situation for the guy to act chill and not care about the outcome of that night. This way the guy won't put intense pressure on himself and he also won't beat himself up when things don't go as planned.
On the other hand, imagine that this guy falls in love with the idea of meeting this girl and making something happen. This guy unintentionally becomes very nervous and puts a little too much pressure on himself to make things work out. He gets let down gently by this girl but because he cared so much, it feels like an intense heartbreak.
Caring is a powerful thing. It's always good to care about things that are bigger than yourself. Caring about others becomes easy when you are genuinely interested in learning more about them. Caring guys are somewhat rare to come by but that may be due to a specific reason. It hurts less when you don't care. Similarly, some personality types are more caring than others which is fine. Sometimes, it even is better to not care as much. As said before, when going on a date, it is best to not care about how you act, how it goes or how it ends. Be yourself but don't fall into the trap of looking for other people to make you feel important. You are important because you are you! As long as you care for yourself, things will be ok.